I've learned that I can't really count on anybody for much of anything anymore.



People just don't pull for me anymore, no matter what it is...
I hold nothing against them
But now, I'm just going to have to do everything for myself

Ah
College Life

Pretty Soon I'm going to be living it.

To be honest, I don't really know how much I'm actually looking forward to to.

Like yeah it's cool ya know to have opportunity to do stuff like Photoshop in Paris and Enter competitions and have you but other than that I don't see much of it.

I really don't see myself making many friends and that doesn't bother me much. [I really don't consider myself having more than 1 or two friends anyway]But What bothers me is that I'm putting myself in debt for something that I'm not all that into. I don't even know will I be able to do well. I never been a 'School' type of kid anyways. But Fuck it. It's happening so whatever. I think the thing that really sucked me into actually going was the fact that I'll be doing stuff. Ya know, things like going to different countries and meeting new people won't just be such a forgin concept to me anymore [At least I hope not]. But I just want to taste the life of that ya know. Because, just between you and me, I really haven't plan to stay more than 2 years.

I'm socially awkward.
I accept that.
I sometimes make up believable lies of things I was actually happening/happened to me
I accept that.
I feel as if my closest friends know little to nothing about me, and vice versa
I understand that.
I have this one goal that I have keepd to myself that I know I will never obtain, but somehow, it keeps me going.

And for that,

"Queens Get the Money, Niggas still scream 'Paper Chasing' "

There's a lot going on.

Things I can't stand
-People arguing with me about something they know I know more about than them

-Most old Romance Movies

-That feeling that you just can't do shit right

Recently I confirmed that I love old music. Like Billie Holiday and Frankie Lymon old. It has always had this strange appeal to me. It's just really genuine to me. It just fits, ya know? You prob don't but it's ok. That's not what this is about anyway.

I don't like any of my work right now. And what worth does it have if I don't like it? Thats why I'm working so hard.

I didn't want to go to college. The only reason I'm going is because of McKenzie telling her father I wasn't going making it a real uncomfourtable dinner, then there's everyone saying basicly I won't be shit unless I'm going. Then there is the "You black from Detroit. Who's going to hire you without a degree" The same fuckers that would hire me with a degree. Art is one of those things where it's very hard to place the race card. If you good your fucking good. Regardless of race. Me becoming shit is all up to me. How hard I work. How hard I try. And I really do feel I'm trying. Making things jump off and all. All in all though, I'm still looking forward to it. I think It may kind of be fun.

I don't blog to much.

I found out venting about things dosn't really help me much
Everyone knows what I'm up too most of the time
If they don't they can just ask me, I'm not hard to reach.
I really don't think anyone even reads these besides Kenzie anyway